Underpaid Overtime

This Mama has been working a lot of overtime the past few weeks. A part to 3/4 time to full time job, a small business, and two small children should be enough to keep anyone busy. Most of the time I can handle it without any problem. Sometimes I struggle, but who doesn't!? Throw in horrid sickness and a few craft shows and things get very interesting!

In the past month or so I have been preparing for The Big One craft show in Minot, ND. I had no idea what to expect except that it was supposed to be pretty busy and, obviously, the largest craft show I had ever done. OK, no problem. Piece of cake. Then it happened. I. Got. Sick. Gah!

Moms are not supposed to get sick. It is in the handbook. Underlined. And written in RED. It is contractual and from what I under...Wait! This just in! Moms are allowed to get sick after all. We just have to keep on doing what we do while we are sick. Oh. I guess I should read the fine print!

Anyhow, whatever unnamed illness (or illnesses) I ended up with it certainly took hold of my body with a vengeance. I, of course, helped it along by providing an exhausted body from lack of sleep. Apparently one should NOT see 3:00 a.m. quite so often as I do. I ended up all but laid out for 5 days with a 103 fever that would only ever go down to 101.5 with medicine. Once I started feeling better the boys started feeling like poo. Poor Kyle got sick, lost his voice like I did, and ended up with a rash that covered his whole body! He was out of school for a whole week and did not like that one bit. Kaleb never got it too bad but I think he is dealing with teething at the same time.

I tell you, it was rough when I was sick. It is downright devastating when our kids were sick. Every cough followed by a cry, indicating a terribly sore throat, broke my heart. Every time Kyle asked why he had spots all over him I just wanted to take them onto my own body so he would not have to be concerned anymore. Getting up every two hours with a crying, miserable child is not a hardship at all, even when I did not get to bed until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. Who cares if Mama only gets two or three hours of sleep? Not I. Who cares if Mama can get in to work to get paperwork done? Not I. Who cares if the craft show is looming? Not I. I just wanted to make them better. All I could offer was medicine to soothe the pain and lots of hugs and cuddles to ease their minds. They come first. Period.

Now that we are all well and the craft show is over I can see that it was really no big deal. The craft show was amazingly successful and I cannot wait to do another. I have a more well-rounded idea of what to expect at larger shows and I am currently in the process of formulating new products. I figure I am on a roll and I have gained a bit of momentum; now is NOT the time to slack off! I have to strike while the iron is hot! Bring on the late nights and the underpaid overtime! After the kids are taken care of and everything is as it should be I shall craft until my fingers fall off! I just hope that this time I do not let myself get sick. Perhaps I should start taking vitamins again..... :)

Busy Busy Life

This is pretty much a boring post. I have been super busy with work and Purely Chic Designs and traveling and the kids. That is life and I love it!

I have been creating left and right for my business and I am really enjoying it. I have two shows coming up and I am very nervous! I want to have enough product on hand and I want to have things that appeal to everyone. I hope that the books go over well, especially since they are definitely more profitable than the bookmarks in overall dollar value.

Other than that I am just trying to stay on this crazy ride we call life :)

How to make him understand

My lovely and wonderful friend Tiffany just gave birth to her second child, their sweet baby boy Kaden Douglas James Fuller. He is a child that was longed for, fought for, prayed for, and probably bargained with God for. At no time in his life will he ever be able to think for one second that he is not wanted or loved. I cannot wait to meet him and, though I was not able to be at the birth, was thrilled to be on speakerphone at the time of his birth and able to hear his first cries! Ah, what a glorious sound! I am so thrilled that they were able to add to their family, no doubt about it!

 

Start Rant:

Sitting here this evening I am, of course, haunted by baby fever. I have had baby fever for months and months. I desperately want another child and I feel our family is not complete. I am so thankful for our boys, they are my world. I am actually happy that they are both out of the baby stage because there is added freedom to having two children who can walk and talk. Kaleb, I feel, is in the beginning stages of wanting to potty train and I am thrilled. At the same time, I have always pictured my life with more children. Never did I ever, at any time, think that I would ‘only’ have two kids. I do not want to seem ungrateful at all, and I know I probably sound whiny and immature, but I do not care. We have talked about becoming involved in foster care when we move back to Idaho and I would still love to do that, but would we ever adopt any of those children? Would I be able to deal with the potential problems that could come from adopting a 2 year old who’s birth mother was a drug addict while pregnant with the child? Would I still feel and empty spot in my heart, the way I do now?

 

Larabee and I came to an agreement several months ago that if I could make $500 a month from home we could have another baby. I am into my third month of making well over $500 a month from home. When I brought it up with him I was shut down. He now says that the $500 a month has to be able to be sustained when we move back to Idaho. What?! That was never part of the deal! Sustainable, sure, but not “Unless you can count on it for 25 years it does not meet the requirements of our deal”. I feel like he threw down a challenge, I met (exceeded) the challenge, and then the deal was revoked. I feel as if he defaulted on our deal. He declared bankruptcy on our family’s future.

 

The economy is still in the crapper, there are very few jobs at home. Those that are available are seasonal to VERY seasonal. We both have good jobs here, we have the opportunity to stay here a few more years and build our savings significantly, and it just seems like the logical and practical thing to do. I know that we have been away from home for a long time and we both miss our house and North Idaho and our old lifestyle. I also know that he brought me to North Dakota and now I have a life here, Kyle is starting school here, my sister is having a baby, and I have very good friends. It was his decision to come here and I feel as if I did not have a say in that decision. Now, when decisions about the future need to be made, I feel as if I still have no say. I do not necessarily want to stay here but I certainly do not want to go home to poverty. I do not want to be ‘kid poor’, but I want one more child. Our children have nice clothes (almost exclusively purchased used, and Kaleb wears all of Kyle’s old clothes for the most part), they are well fed (home cooked meals, not take-out), and they are happy, healthy, and smart. I feel as if I am a pretty good mom and that Larabee is a pretty good Dad. I know he is not against more kids, just against the financial burden they can bring. Have I not proven that I am personally unwilling to spend more on the care of our children than is practical? Have I not struck out and gotten a job even though I have 2 children full time and a small business to run? Have I not shown that I am willing to go the extra mile to take care of what needs taken care of? How can such a big life decision be at his whim alone?

 

Why do I have to be such a whiner? Because it is something I want, something I am not going to un-want. I really doubt he or I would ever regret having another child once the child was here, but I know I would always regret NOT having another child. I really fear that I would eventually hold it against him in a very big way, even though I would try very hard not to. This is not a diamond ring I am talking about, this is not a fancy home, this is not a lavish vacation. I am taking about a living, breathing, loving reason for even being alive. It is not a passing desire, a fleeting wish that will blow in and out like the wind. Nope, it is here to stay. I certainly do not want to cause problems for us or our relationship, but in all honesty, his deal-breaking and backing out on something he agreed to without trepidation are causing problems of their own. The deal he made with me was agreed to under free will and I rose to the challenge, so sue me.

End Rant………………

I am having a very hard time with this…..

A Day at the Zoo

Grandma and Grandpa came to North Da-cold-a Dakota for Auntie Ancela’s graduation, so on Monday the 16th of May we decided to take the kiddos to the zoo. Ancela’s friend needed a hand with her 3 kids, so we figured the more the merrier. Damian, Anna, and Mason joined us for the fun!

 

Here is a picture of Kyle and Damian in the penguin cut-out. Are they not adorable? Maybe I should have the boys dress as penguins for Halloween, complete with pants they cannot walk in. That would be funny. And short-lived. Hmmm. Maybe I will come up with something else.

Kaleb got a bit tired since he donated his stroller to Mason for the day. What a kind-hearted little boy! (As if he had anything to do with the decision….but just go with it!) Grandpa was kind enough to give him a lift. This photo would have been extra funny if Grandpa’s undies were showing too, but he tucks his shirt in. SOOOO sorry I could not give you more of a laugh. Maybe that is a good thing though.

Next was the mini-merry go round! This was a hit for the boys. Anna rode too but she lost interest after a round or two. Kyle, Kaleb, and Damian were thrilled with a capital thrilled!

All 4 kids! Yay!

We visited the leopards. If you look closely through the various layers of chain link fence you can see them snoozing in the background. Lazy kitties. For this picture I pulled out the big guns to try to get the kids to ALL smile at the same time. I YELLED “FART!” Yeah….Damian looks impressed, Kyle looks silly, Anna looks shocked and dismayed. Good job Lisa, sheesh!

So then we tried for making kitty sounds. Kyle won because he not only made the sound but he also acted it out. There was NO preferential treatment in deciding the winner in this case. In fact, there is no prize so it does not matter a snit. Oh yeah, and I took the picture, so I am the Judge and Jury on this one. Sorry kids!

Such a precious little lion. Entirely too precious. I must go kiss that face NOW! Except he is sleeping like an angel right now, completely the opposite of the little….um….not-so-angel he was acting like earlier today. I think I will mentally kiss him and call it good. Better to just let that cranky kitty sleep!

 

This one I WILL go kiss right now. He will not wake up. Well, he might. He will just tell me to leave him alone because he is trying to sleep, but when I tell him I love him he will reply with a sleepy, adorable, loveable, kissable “I love you too Mom”. These are the kinds of things that make life worth living. Like, totally!

And….because I am nice and because he is just funny and silly and precious even when he is being a not-so-angelic little boy, here is the silly precious lion. What a face!

Since December…..

Slacker. Lazy bum. Stingy.

 

No, none of the above.

 

Lacking time is more like it!

 

My last post was in December….and it is almost June. This post will get you all caught up in a jiffy!

 

Since December…….

….we have survived the worst North Dakota winter since 1970. In our RV. With small children. I am sensing a round of “I will survive” coming on! In fact, maybe I should try out for Survivor! They would never pick me because I am too capable.

….February 10th Kaleb burned his little arm on the inside of the oven. It has healed marvelously but it was very hard to see him in pain.

….February 15th Kaleb tipped over in a kid’s chair at the library and bit *almost* all of the way through his tongue. The poor kid was just falling apart!

….we went home at the end of February to attend our mediation with Allstate. Things got settled, we were able to move forward with our lives, and we celebrated with Lobsterfest at Red Lobster!

….I did schoolwork. A lot of schoolwork. And many exams. And had lots of late nights paired with early mornings. “I will survive”?

….we made some good friends!

….Kyle learned how to swim all by himself!

….Kaleb learned how to run, and boy is he good at it!

….Kyle never stopped talking. Since December. Ever. Even in his sleep.

….Kaleb has not only learned how to talk but has become much more understandable.

….Larabee has worked and worked and worked. He even put in some 23 and 24 hour days, which is just plain crazy!

….I graduated from LCSC with my Bachelors in Business Administration with a Psychology minor!!! I graduated Magna Cum Laude with a 3.89 GPA. My Mom also graduated with the same degree, except she graduated Suma Cum Laude….the stinker! I am so proud of her!

….We went home for graduation and got to spend a fantastic week with Tara, Zack, Macie, and Ava! Tara and I needed that!

….On both trips home Grandma Agnes came up to see us! It is so nice to have such a great mother in law!

….Sasha had her baby! Braxton is such a little cutie!

….Tiffany found out she was pregnant! Well, maybe she found out in late December….I do not remember! But that does not matter because Kaden will be here in about 3 months!

….We had some drama. Said drama did not originate from us, but it engulfed our lives nonetheless. “I will survive”???

….Spring finally came…sort of. Maybe. I will just leave this one out for now.

….I began looking at Masters programs offered at U of I. And then I told myself I was crazy and finished my homework.

….I started making laminated magnetic bookmarks and selling them on etsy.com! So far it has gone pretty well, though I now have some more ideas in the works!

 

****Shameless plug: Here is the etsy address! http://www.etsy.com/shop/PurelyChicDesigns    Check it out!

 

All in all we have been doing just fine. I promise to keep up on the blog posts from now on and not let 6 months go by without one!

And I will do some with pictures…but right now, I have 2 little boys to play with!

Oh, to be Three!

Three years. That is approximately 1,095 days of being your Mama. Where has the time gone? Though three years may not seem like a very long time to some people, three years has been a lifetime for you. Three years ago I learned what it really meant to live, to love, and to give of myself completely. Three years ago I felt defeat as Dr. Woodall, bless his heart, confirmed that I would indeed be having you via c-section. Three years ago I felt terrified at the thought of a c-section, but much more terrified at the thought that something could happen to you if I did not put on my big-girl panties and head to the operating room. Three years ago, my heart ceased to reside in my chest and instead took up residence in all that is you. 

Your young life has been atypical, especially compared to most children your age. You have lived in one house for nearly all of your life, but in several different states and cities. You may wake up in North Dakota, Utah, Texas, or Wyoming, but you almost always go to bed in the same room. Through all of the travels and the changes, you have thrived. You know that as long as you are with Mama and Daddy everything is fine, which is just as it should be.

You are determined, defiant, kind, pesky, loving, irritating, generous, loud, well-spoken, intelligent, inquisitive, a know-it-all, a wonderer, and a bit dangerous if left to your own devices (think….mascara and baby gas medicine….). You are all of the things that a preschooler should be.

You are NOT mean, unkind, angry, spiteful, or rude. You have a good heart and a kind soul. You are a joy, but you also know how to test one’s patience. You are so mature in some ways that it makes it hard to remember that you are still only three.

At this point in your life you LOVE your cars, you adore your brother, and you could spend all day every day swimming. You squabble with Kaleb here and there, but you are the first to rush to his aide if you think he is hurt or in trouble. This is especially funny if he is in trouble with Mama or Daddy (mostly because he is getting into the dog water dish); you tell me, with all the conviction you can muster, “Don’t tell MY brother NO” or “Leave my brother alone!” This is even funnier when Kaleb is not in trouble at all, but you want to make sure that he is protected. I hope and pray that you always carry that protective spirit, not only for your brother, but also for those who cannot stand up for themselves for whatever reason. It takes moxy to stand up for others, but in doing so you show that you are willing to step out of the bounds of comfort to come to the aide of another. That, my boy, is a fine quality and one to be proud of.

As much as it exhausts your Mama and Daddy to be riddled with billions (and yes, I really do mean billions) of questions every day, I absolutely LOVE that you really do want to know everything about everything. I adore that, even at three, you are not satisfied with simple answers meant for children your age. I am often frustrated with myself because I feel so unprepared for all of these questions; you expect me to have all of the answers! I am honored that you have that much confidence in me, but at the same time, I cannot wait until you are old enough to help me look up the answers. I pray you never loose that inner drive to know more, learn more, and be more.

Three years. 1,095 days and counting. An absolute lifetime. I can vaguely remember my life before you came into this world, back when I could sleep in as late as I wanted on a day off and never EVER had to clean up throw-up. Back when all I needed in order to go somewhere was my purse and a set of keys, and back when I spoke to grown-ups all day long. I will tell you a few secrets Kyle! First, while I love sleep and love sleeping IN even more, I do not miss a single moment of the snooze time I have missed out on since you were born. Second, throw-up is yucky and not fun at all, but I will do anything in my power to take away your hurts and sickies, puke cleanup included. Third, who needs to go somewhere at the drop of a hat? It is very overrated. Fourth, grown-ups are not as interesting as they are cracked up to be for the most part. The things you say and the silliness that is you is often more entertaining than a barrel of monkeys with ADD. Who needs grownups!? My life was made more complete when you were born and you fill my life with joy (and the occasional…ok, sometimes more than occasional…frustration) on a daily basis. I am so proud to be your Mama.

While watching you grow up gives me terrible pangs of sadness, I am also filled with great anticipation as I watch you growing and learning. I am very excited to see who you will become and know that we have a lot more wonderful memories to make along the way. I love you, dear sweet boy. I love you to the moon and back, which is a very long way.

A Whole Year of You

Kaleb, you are now officially a one-year-old. I am so excited for you to grow and so sad that every day you are that much further away from being my baby. It is hard to believe I only really met you a year ago; I feel as if I have known you for the entirety of my existence. While I was pregnant with you you gave us a big scare, so on your birthday I was so happy to meet you I would not have given a snit if you had been green with four eyes. You are far from green with four eyes, my boy. You are indescribably pure and an undeniable miracle.

In the last year you have hit all of the milestones ‘they’ say you should, but you did them in your own time. That is one quality that I admire about you; you are not in a rush to grow up. I hope that never changes. I hope you really take the time to be a child. I pray that your Daddy and I provide you with the best childhood you could ask for as well.

While you are certainly a ‘good’ baby, you are becoming more confident and more of a troublemaker as you get older. You pull your brother’s hair and downright bully him whenever you can. You are not being mean, you are just a rough and tumble boy. That surprises me because you have always been laid-back and cuddly. I guess the more mobile you are the more you are going to test the waters of trouble. Just do me a favor- do not jump into the water entirely!

In your first year you have been quite a few places. You were born in Salt Lake, then we moved to Rawlins Wyoming. After that we went to Layton, UT, then on to Blanding, UT. Back up to Ogden, UT we went after that, and finally back to Salt Lake. When you were about 9 months old Daddy changed jobs and we came all the way to Ross, ND. Through all of our travels and all of our scenery changes, you have been a trooper. You rarely complain and are generally OK with anything. What an awesome quality!

You have been a booby-baby for all of your first year. You are currently in the process of giving it up and that makes me a bit sad. I never thought it would, but I love having that time with you, holding you, examining your soft face, touching your baby-fine hair (that, admittedly, there is not much of).

Now the mushy gushy stuff. Kaleb, you are an absolute treasure of a boy. You have made our family more wonderful and more fun than we could imagine. Your big brother adores you and would do anything for you. He even shares his hot chocolate with you willingly! You have Grandmas and Grandpas and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins and friends that think you are wonderful. You exude a light and a sense of joy wherever you go. You are so very uniquely you, and this Mama would not have it any other way. We love you Silly Bean. To the moon and back, which is a very long way.