This is a brachiosaurus. Or, according to Kyle, a brocolliosaurus. I love that boy!

Realistic New Years Resolutions

I looked back at my resolutions from last year and laughed. I believe I was FAR too specific and unrealistic. So this year I have a different approach. Call me crazy, but these are my resolutions.

1. I will lose 5 pounds. Once I have lost 5 pounds I will reevaluate and likely resolve to lose another 5 pounds. Or I might get excited that I reached my goal, celebrate by baking a cake, gain back the 5 pounds lost, and vow again to lose 5 pounds. Either way, I will lose 5 pounds.

2. I will exclusively breastfeed Kaleb until he is 3 months old. This one is fairly safe because he is almost 7 weeks old now and we are on track to succeed. On the other hand, the Dr might want me to supplement if he is not gaining enough weight, but that is beyond my control and therefore would nix this resolution through no fault of my own. At 3 months I will reevaluate our situation and whether or not EBF is working for us and either run screaming for the hills (leaving Larabee no choice but to give him formula) or I will resolve to EBF until he starts getting teeth. At that point, it will likely be a day-to-day decision to continue or not. Hey, I am just being honest.

3. I will pass all of my classes. 6 classes. All 2oo level and up. All college courses. 18 credits. While keeping Kyle from drinking the dog water and keeping Kaleb fed and happy. While having dinner on the table every night and keeping the clothes washed and the house relatively clean. Yep, passing will do. IF by chance I am keeping up on everything fairly well, I will shoot for A's and B's. I got all A's last semester fairly easily but that could have been a fluke. I don't want the pressure people!

4. Larabee and I will still be married in 2011. That is a given- we cannot afford to get divorced. Besides, we sorta love each other and our family, so the big D is not really an option.

5. I will tell my children at least once a day that I love them. I will kiss them unapologetically and hug them until they are thinking "Oooooookkkkkkk Mom!" It is my God-given right to hug and kiss to my hearts content, so get used to it boys!

Yep, I think 2010 will be a pretty good year.

Take the time to be thankful

I just watched Oprah, you know, the one about Jaycee Dugard and all of those poor families who have had their children kidnapped from right beneath their noses. Could you imagine? My whole body goes into panic mode simply thinking about one of my children being taken from me. I pray every night and every day that my children are kept safe and away from any and all harm that may come to them, and while I know that I cannot protect them from everything I also know that I will try my darnedest to keep them as safe as I can. Today I am sending out extra prayers for those Mothers, Fathers, Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, and friends who have had a child they know and love go missing. I selfishly pray that neither I nor anyone I know and love EVER has to find out what it feels like to have a child go missing.

So, the next time your children are driving you insane and you want to drop them off at the local animal shelter because those wild animals are surely not YOUR children, look into their tiny faces and be thankful that you have them and you know they are safe. Moments of frustration and exasperation will pass, but I am sure that the moment you realize your child is truly missing lasts a lot longer and is far more disheartening. I know that as soon as my kids can understand 'stranger danger' I will try my best to teach them to be careful. That will be hard with Kyle because he is so friendly and has never known a 'mean' person. I pray extensively that his common sense will keep him safe. As for Kaleb, only time will tell. I love my kids, and I know you love your kids. May we always be able to love them and hug them and kiss them.

Crooked Smiles

This boy will not let me take a picture of him smiling normally. Every time the camera finally takes the picture, the smile is crooked and off to the side!

That is OK.

I will take it!

Another year flies by!

He was so little when he was born! He was just a tiny little bundle of crying, peeing, pooping, smiling, heart-melting joy. We had no idea what we were in for! Then he turned into a strapping 1-year-old, and what a 1-year-old he turned out to be. Kyle, you are such an amazing child. You are headstrong and stubborn, yet loving and kind. You are naughty and you love doing things you KNOW you are not supposed to do, but you are excessively polite and bring awesome joy into our lives. You are smart and cleaver, but you are still eager to learn and discover. You know the names of most of the animals that walk God's green earth. You recognize numbers, can count to 10 (when YOU want to, not when WE want you to), and are even starting to recognize letters (which amazes us because we have not started focusing on letters with you yet!). You have your colors down fairly well, though recalling their names is a bit tough- but ask you to point out the green dot or the red circle and you are 100% there! You started saying "I love you" and "Loves Mama and Daddy" in the past week or so and it melts my heart every single time you say it. Beyond the things that you know or have learned, you simply 'get' things easily. You have an understanding for how things work and how to solve problems that is beyond your years. It is inspiring. In the past month your little world has changed so much. We moved from Salt Lake, where you did so much of your growing and learning, to Rawlins, where you are cooped up quite a bit of the time. You also became a big brother, a role you are more than happy to fill. You want to be so helpful that it is a hindrance at times, but Mama is learning to help you in your helping skills. You are going to have so much fun with Kaleb as the both of you grow. I feel blessed to be your Mama and to have the opportunity to continue to watch you learn and grow, as well as honored to help guide you through each stage of your life. I love you sugarbean, more than you will ever know.

What a good big brother!

We all know that Kyle loves books. Today he decided to instill that love of books in Kaleb by reading him "The Monster at the End of This Book". It was precious. He even took the time to explain what was in the pictures. How sweet.

I love having boys. If I were to ever have a girl I would love that too, but boys just weasel their way into Mama's heart to the point of being sickeningly adorable. Good thing I like sickeningly adorable!

Recovering from a c-section

If nobody has said it before, I will go ahead and be the first. C-sections are absolutely the best way to have a baby. Seriously, think about it. I got to pick my day, had it all planned out, walked calmly into the hospital that morning, and simply went through the motions of preparing for major surgery. There was no pushing, no screaming, no tearing, no baby getting stuck, no yelling at my husband, no sweating, no messed up hair. All very orderly and calm.
Recovery is what likely scares most people. I think I am one of the few people in this world that has a screwed up pain sensory system in my body. So far I have had an easy recovery, much like I did with Kyle, but this time easier in many ways. For instance, I had a belly wrap. It is a big elastic band that you wrap tightly around your mid-section for support. My abs got a few extra days of rest because of that baby. I was not afraid to sneeze or cough and I really did not have any pain at all because of moving the 'wrong' way. I was able to stop taking my pain medication after only 9 days, which is amazing in my opinion.
At this point, much of my swelling is gone and I can feel where they stitched me up on the inside. It is strange, but I am OK with that. Today I went for a walk around the park with my boys and I jogged just a bit to see if I could. Well, I could, but I should not. I will try to stick to doctor's orders and wait until I am 6 weeks pp, but to actually feel like I want to run is a big deal. I know I am done having kids and I want to try to get my old body back.
All I can say is wish me luck.