Diapers

I just wanted to say that I REFUSE to count how many diapers I change per day now. Totally and completely refuse. It would be really sad if I knew that off the top of my head. I remind myself that I was totally OK with two in diapers, and I still am, but I will still not count how many I changed, say, today. Not going to happen. Simply not an important piece of information. Nobody needs to know- I dont even need to know.




14



*sigh*

My life as a Mommy of two...

You never do know how capable you are of loving, how much your heart can really stretch and grow, until you add another child to your life.
When you only have one child your heart is full of, well, them. My heart was full of Kyle- full of his smiles, his laughter, his boo-boos, his triumphs, his aggravations, his entire world. Of course my heart also holds love for Larabee and other members of my family, but Kyle truly was my world. His well-being, his education, and his daily care was in my hands much of the time, so his little life encompassed mine.
When I found out I was pregnant last spring I never went through the worry or concern that I would not have room in my heart for another child. I know that everyone says your heart grows and your capacity for love grows, and I just believed in that.
Now that Kaleb is here I can say with all honesty that 'they' were right. There is always room in your heart for more love. I cherish the memories I have with Kyle, especially since was our first and our only for nearly two years. I love that I have gotten to watch him grow and learn and become the awesome little man he is today, but I am also very much looking forward to watching my two boys grow and learn and become awesome young men. I search every day for Kaleb's first smile, I wait every day for Kyle to say "Kaleb" with greater clarity. Every night Kyle kisses Kaleb on the head before he goes to bed, and I love seeing that. It is almost as if the love is built in from the beginning, which it perhaps is. God has granted Larabee and I with two little boys and has entrusted us with their care. That is not a job I take lightly, and while I know it will be a challenge I also know it will hold the greatest rewards.
My boys, Kyle and Kaleb, as one of your favorite books says, "I love you as much as a mother can love."

Kaleb Joseph Willey is here!

I am a bit late posting this, but that is OK, right? LOL

Kaleb Joseph Willey graced us with his presence Saturday the 21st at 8:20 am. He weighed in at 8 lbs 11 oz and was 21 inches long, so bigger than his big brother was! He has black hair and looks an awful lot like Kyle did at that age. He is a big fan of sleeping in the daytime and not so much at night, but we are working on it. He is mellow and only cries if there is a reason (so far). We are proud!

My Sweet, Darling Boy

My darling son, how on Earth do I explain to you how much your life is going to change in just a few short days? How do I prepare you for the biggest change you have ever had in your short life? We talk about the baby, we define certain things in the house as the baby's things, we talk about you becoming a big brother, but how much do you understand?

I know that we are giving you a wonderful gift, the gift of a sibling and a lifelong friend. I also know that we are taking you out of the spotlight, which you adore. Life is about changing and adapting though, and I know that you are really excellent at both, so my worries are few.

I sit here and reflect on what an amazing child you are and simply cannot believe that less than 2 years ago you were a newborn who mystified and terrified me. How did you go from goo-goos and ga-gas to running like the wind, talking up a storm, and being a caring little man? A few weeks ago you asked me if it hurt leaves when they fall off the trees! That amazed me! You are beyond polite, which makes me look good, but to tell you the truth that is just how you are. You are fantastic at pointing out your feelings and you get over things very easily. You are so laid back most of the time, which is strange because you are also as busy as can be! Most people cannot believe that you are not even 2 yet because you carry yourself so well and just act mature. You listen most of the time too, which is quite astonishing. I could go on and on about the things that you do every day that amaze me. I am so looking forward to watching you grow and blossom even more.

In a few short days you will go from being an only child to being a big brother. I know you will be great at your new role in life and that you will be a wonderful helper to your Mama. I love you more than words can ever express, with a love that you will only be able to understand when you become a father someday. It is endless and bottomless and can never founder. And you, my son, are amazing.

A Bittersweet Goodbye

Sometimes in life we take on more than we can handle. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we cannot make things work out. That is how I feel about Summer. She is a great dog in many ways; she loves babies and kids, she is friendly, and she is sweet. On the other hand, she is not 100% potty trained, gets into the garbage every chance she gets, and often does not come when I call her. But I tell you what, she loves her boy and her boy loves her. Larabee and I made the hard decision that she was out of chances after yesterday. She is simply not going to change and we were simply not going to deal with it anymore. The last thing I need is to get up in the middle of the night to a crying baby to find a surprise left by the dog. I guess it is especially difficult dealing with Summer's bad habits when we consider how good Sadie is. Sadie is annoying, has separation anxiety, whines a lot, but we can trust her just about as much as you can trust a dog. Summer never got to that point, and that is sad. She could be such a good dog if she made the choice to be, but we cannot make that choice for her. Because of that, we had to make the choice that was best for our family and our sanity. Summer will find another home and hopefully that one will work out for her. We will miss her.

Hagrid

One very large culture shock that we got when we came to Salt Lake City are the sheer volumes of homeless persons that call the streets of Salt Lake home. Nearly every street corner has someone holding a sign that proclaims the person to be "Homeless/Homeless Vet/Homeless Elderly Person" in need of "work/food/shelter/money", always followed up by "God Bless" or "Anything Helps". At one point I would have given every single person something; in San Antonio I gave one such woman a few bananas since I had just been to the grocery store, and man a few packs of fruit snacks that I happened to have in the car. I felt that if they want money they should find a job but food is something that is useful to everyone.
Fast forward to today. There are so many people on the streets of SLC that we have become numb to their begging. I often wonder if that particular person is really in need or if they have made a business out of begging, because (unfortunately) some have. I think about the fact that Larabee goes to a job every day that he does not particularly like to support his family the best he can and cannot justify giving away his hard-earned money to someone who may very well go home to a 3 bedroom house. I feel so jaded.
We do have one man who is at home on the Taco Bell lawn a few blocks away. We have dubbed him "Hagrid" because, well, he looks like Hagrid from Harry Potter. He is big, burly, hairy and wild-eyed. In the months that we have been here I have NEVER seen him begging or holding a sign. He walks back and forth between the Taco Bell and who knows where every day with all of his worldly possessions on his back. I wonder about him. Is he mentally unstable? Is he dealing with a drug or alcohol addiction? What was he like as a young child? Does he have any family? Is there anyone out there who knows his name and cares about him? For some reason he does not scare me, though I do not think I would approach him while pregnant or if I had children with me. I would like to see if he is 'all there' though, and see what happened in his life to lead him down this path. I guess my heart goes out to him because he makes his way in life without asking of others while others ask far too much when they are capable of so much more.
Every time I think about "Hagrid" I am thankful that, no matter what circumstances may fall upon me in my life, I will never be homeless. I know that I have family that would help me, and I also know that I am pretty self-reliant. I know I have been given the skills to keep me off of the streets. That is a pretty big thing if you think about it. I am thankful that Larabee is a good provider and that he does so selflessly. I am, in general, thankful.

Oh, the drama

After much debate about the H1N1 vaccine and the possible side effects of the vaccine, Larabee and I decided that we would rather be safe than sorry, especially for the baby's sake. So I called up the local health department on Wednesday to see if they still had the shots and where we could get them. They told me that they were not giving them out for the rest of the week because they had scheduled mass clinics for today, Saturday. I was told they had 7000 shots that would be divided equally among the 4 health department locations in Salt Lake County, so 1750 shots per location. I was also told that they would open at 7 and go until 5, or whenever they ran out.
Loaded with this information Larabee and I decided that we would plan on being down there at 6:30. We figured that there might be a bit of a line, but surly not much of one. Boy were we wrong! We got down there at 6:30 on the dot and there was a line around the building and down the street at that point! There must have been people that were there for hours and hours before we got there. I decided at that point that parking might be an issue so I basically kicked Larabee out of the car and told him to get in line because there were droves of people coming from all directions and I definitely did not want to be behind more people than I had to be behind. I drove around for about 10 minutes before I finally found a parking spot, but found one a couple of blocks away. Kyle and I hiked down to where Larabee was waiting and there were at least 200 people already in line behind him. Good thing I kicked him out!
At 7, when they started letting people in to receive the shots, we figured out how slowly things were going to move. Silly Mama that I am, I figured it would not be a big deal and we would get through quickly, so I failed to grab the stroller out of the car. Kyle was a cuddle bug today, and was being incredibly good, but he only wanted me. Not Daddy. Me. After about 45 minutes my back simply could not take it and I hiked back to the car for the stroller and necessary keep-the-boy-occupied supplies. When I got back to Larabee and Kyle they had not moved an inch, and I was gone for over 20 minutes. So we waited. Kyle watched what was going on around him. And we waited.
At about 8 I decided I was hungry and hiked the 4 blocks to 7-11 and got some grub for us and some coffee (decaf because we are both being good). When I got back the line had move but not a ton. So we waited. And waited. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we got to the door. They tried to tell us that Larabee could not get vaccinated because he was not caring for a child under the age of 6 months NOW. So I sorta kinda fibbed and said I was due any day. He got the shot after I said that! At 10:30 we walked out of the building. So, it took us 4 hours to get these stupid little shots that may or may not have been necessary. I guess it is done now, but boy my feet hurt and I am exhausted!